I won't be sarcastic... just naked
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
