My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
