Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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