My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
