i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
