i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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