i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
