Plan B is the new Plan A
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
