Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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