Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
