I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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