When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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