I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
3pm strippers are depressing
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize