Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
