$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
