the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
