I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
