'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
