I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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