Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
