mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
