the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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