ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Girls should come with a carfax report
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
