You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize