I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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