Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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