I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
