i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
