2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
