No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
