You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm just crazy horny about you
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
