Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
