no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm gonna have a badass scar
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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