I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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