i would punch a child for taco bell
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
