can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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