Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
