That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
