Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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