It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
