All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
