I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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