I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Tell her she can't have a vagina
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
This toilet bowl is my home.
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