Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
