Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
