Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
