I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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