So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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