I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
