I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
