My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Randomize
