I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's shark week go big or go home
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
