I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
