I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
