I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
