What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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