Got a toothbrush?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
