Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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