I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
