Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We just shotgunned beers for America
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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