I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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