You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
