you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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