i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
