i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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